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It Is Not Good For Man To Be Alone


Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will provide a partner for him…” So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Then the man said, “Now this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” GENESIS 2:18, 21–23

There is little that is so difficult for a person to bear as loneliness. Prisoners held in solitary confinement have told of rejoicing to see even a spider – at least it is something alive. God created us to be communal beings. Yet our modern world is frighteningly devoid of relationships. In many areas of life, technologicalAll of Us Long For What Is Imperishable progress has resulted in the deterioration of community. Increasingly, technology has made people seem unnecessary.

As the elderly are placed into retirement communities or personal-care homes, as factory workers are replaced by hi-tech robotics, as young men and women search year after year for meaningful work, they fall into despair and hopelessness. Some depend on the help of therapists or psychologists, and others seek avenues of escape such as alcoholism, drugs, and suicide. Cut off from God and each other, thousands of people lead lives of quiet desperation.

To live in isolation from others kills this unity and leads to despair. Thomas Merton writes:

Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost…Despair is the ultimate development of a pride so great and so stiff-necked that it selects the absolute misery of damnation rather than accept happiness from the hands of God and thereby acknowledge that he is above us and that we are not capable of fulfilling our destiny ourselves.

But a man who is truly humble cannot despair, because in a humble man there is no longer any such thing as self-pity. We see here that pride is a curse that leads to death. Humility, however, leads to love. Love is the greatest gift given to humankind; it is our true calling. It is the “yes” to life, the “yes” to community. Love alone fulfills the longing of our innermost being.


(This excerpt is from the E-book: Sex, God and Marriage reprinted from www.bruderhof.com, copyright 2002 by the Bruderhof foundation, Inc., used with permission)


 

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